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dream

In Leben on 2 February 2010 with no comments

Woke up at 6.30am this morning but decided to skip the morning class, while I can still choose. Then I slept for another 2 hours and had the most visual dream ever. I dreamt about the Judgement Day.

It was quite different from the way Michelangelo painted.

every dot just seems to connect

In Leben, tumblr on 24 January 2010 tagged questions and answers with 2 comments

“Have patience with everything that
remains unsolved in your heart.
Try to love the questions themselves,
like locked rooms and like books
written in a foreign language.

Do not now look for the answers.
They cannot now be given to you
because you could not live them.
It is a question of experiencing everything.

At present you need to live the question.
Perhaps you will gradually,
without even noticing it, find yourself
experiencing the answer.”

- Rainer Maria Rilke

badguy

In Leben on 23 January 2010 with no comments

What are dreams made of? Lately, I’ve been thinking and pondering over what I’m gonna do in the future, mental picturing myself in the different working attires and working environment.

Then recently, I’ve been having full dreams that last from the moment I sleep till the moment I wake up. It felt like I’m living a life while I’m awake and living another life while I’m asleep. The dreams had complete storylines and it felt very real. In those dreams, I’m either always doing bad things or bad incidents are happening to me. It’s always a relief to wake up to realise that none of it is real.

reassurance

In Leben on 19 January 2010 with no comments

Nobody gives me more reassurance than my father :)

double minds

In Leben on 8 January 2010 with no comments

I am having double minds about it and it is a wrong time for it. There ain’t many worse things than a man can do to his confidence than being not entirely convinced about the ideas he wants to convey.

After spending some 5 months abroad, I know that I would be invigorated with another of such opportunity and I would jump at it when it comes around. It wasn’t so much about the opportunities that might ensue, it’s about the feeling of fending for oneself without any reachable safety button and the experience of taking responsibility for one’s life. The latter is especially important. There is so much that the environment can do to a person’s character and a change upsets the normal rhythm of life. A man turns into a beast in the jungle and the animals become domesticated when homed. In a good way.

I was never one of those long necks with anywhere-but-here mentality when choices present themselves. I love to fly, along with the challenges and uncertainties that come with it. I like changes as much as I like stability. The same can be said for moving and staying. There isn’t one that I like more than the other.

I could tell myself that maybe after working 5 to 10 years here, there might be opportunities for me to try somewhere else. But opportunities never have the obligation to turn around every 5 to 10 years just so you can grab them. Of course, therein lies the beauty of uncertainties but if I’m not prudent enough to grab it when it’s right in front of me, could the same be said when it does come around again?

On the other hand, I don’t belong to only me. There lies the second mind.