my secret fascination with airports

no other place is a better setting for thoughts than when on a journey that you’ve always been thinking of, days weeks before it actually happens.

Ko Chang Island, east of Bangkok

have to visit this place some day!

On a sunday morning, with plenty of sleep the night before, is a good sunday morning. Flipping through the papers, I found this excerpt from an article about unhappy scholars. I was just about to flip the pages until i came across this under the comments column. i was having troubles expressing how exactly it feels at the end of my exchange at the start of 2009, i think this excerpt rationalised it very aptly.

It felt terrible, to know that the fairy tale was coming to an end…

For as much as it was enriching, my time overseas was disorientating. The more I saw, the lesser I was sure of who I was, where I came from and where I stood.

Contrary to the writer’s opinion, I regard the ‘disorientating’ positively. It was a refreshing experience as you discover more about yourself. It was disorientating, it leaves me confused and upset. But as I try to gather those memories and experience, and give them second and third thoughts, I realised that all of those have strengthened me, in many ways.

It’s like sailing out in the sea.

If I had chosen to stay in the gentle and calm sea where I was entirely familiar with, I’m likely to have grown at a pace that I’m normally used to. No doubt it’s also growth, as over the same period time, I would also learn to be better at steering my sail.

But by choosing to sail out to the more choppy waters and bigger waves, it’s less comfortable, it’s disorientating. But at the end of the storm, as the sea calms down, have I become a much better sailor? I think so.

22-23 December

In Oslo. Nothing much to hoohaa about. The sunset at Bryygen was brilliant.

24th December

In Bergen at the wrong time. Everything’s close on Xmas. This tourist town has never been emptier. Even the hostel owner has gone home for Christmas dinner and forgot about our checking-in. Luckily someone opened the door for us and we found our room keys in the bin. Met a group of Singaporean students studying in US here.

Walking aimlessly on the streets of Bergen around the hostel at night since there’s pretty much nothing to do. The silence speaks so loud. What was it like this time last year?

Thinking of home, the christmas dinner at church with family, the christmas carols during service.

Thinking of HI paddies, of Xmas SS, the gift exchanges and the fun.

Thinking of SA paddies, the stayover and the gift exchanges.

Thinking of Linköping paddies, Hansil, Mijung, Sungyun, Souhei & friends..they’re probably having a big party right now.

Thinking of Laos Part II paddies, whether if they’ve returned from the recce trip in Pong Song.

Bitterness of winter makes loneliness of Christmas eve bite hard.

25 December

2nd day in Bergen. Christmas day. Everything’s still close. The only thing that isn’t close is the nature – this mountain call Mount Fløyen. It’s around 400 metres above sea level. Climbed to the top and saw God’s wonderful creations. The first time i felt like my ears are falling and my nose flow like a tap.

Got to know the Singaporeans staying here better and we started to talk cock. haha been a while since talking cock with anyone in Singlish =D Christmas Day itself didn’t ended too bad.

26 December

It’s boxing day and everything’s still closed. Climbed Mt Fløyen again, out of sheer boredom. Reached the top and shouted my lungs out. There’s a nagging thought that kept my mind occupied the entire day…

Alas, on the way down, Dubliner pub is open and watched Liverpool’s game there.

27 December

There begins the 18 hours back home to Linkoping from Bergen. 6.5 hours picturesque train ride from Bergen to winter wonderland then to Oslo. The withering green of the forest of trees juxtaposed perfectly against the snowy white mountain range. Can’t help but feel – God made this world beautiful, and humans made it ugly. Wonders of nature. 4 hours of time-killing in Oslo before 9 hours of bus ride home. The grand finale is the 1 hour walk back home from train station to Ryd. Woot!

The end is near.
After coming back from Helsinki, I checked my mail and saw a slew of emails on procedures about returning my keys, my end-of-exchange reports, study abroad reports and refunding of deposit.

And as I hunt through the stacks of documents in my drawer trying to find my banking details, I see the Kalas brochure, the LiU survival guide, the ESN folders, the exchange student checklist etc. It feels strange. It seems not too long ago that I always have the map of Linköping with me all the time. It feels not too long ago that I was trying to fit into this whole new world that seems so far away from home.

That’s the end?

///

It was the biggest group tour so far. My first with many of them and my last group tour too.
12 of us (Hansil, Mijung, Sungyun, Yunman, Eunseon, Souhei, Shaun, Alex and his 3 friends) went to Helsinki, Finland via a luxurious cruise from Stockholm.

It was funny, it was fun.

Standing on the deck, with the sea breeze caressing the face, and with the right music at the right time, it was the closest to heaven.

It was a time when thoughts went on a rapid rhythm of rewind and fastforward, about yesterday, today and tomorrow. Many questions found its answers that day. It’s as if the hallowing sound of the wind were the little whisperings from God.

I wish I had found the pause button that day.