cloudy days。

I am having double minds about it and it is a wrong time for it. There ain’t many worse things than a man can do to his confidence than being not entirely convinced about the ideas he wants to convey.

After spending some 5 months abroad, I know that I would be invigorated with another of such opportunity and I would jump at it when it comes around. It wasn’t so much about the opportunities that might ensue, it’s about the feeling of fending for oneself without any reachable safety button and the experience of taking responsibility for one’s life. The latter is especially important. There is so much that the environment can do to a person’s character and a change upsets the normal rhythm of life. A man turns into a beast in the jungle and the animals become domesticated when homed. In a good way.

I was never one of those long necks with anywhere-but-here mentality when choices present themselves. I love to fly, along with the challenges and uncertainties that come with it. I like changes as much as I like stability. The same can be said for moving and staying. There isn’t one that I like more than the other.

I could tell myself that maybe after working 5 to 10 years here, there might be opportunities for me to try somewhere else. But opportunities never have the obligation to turn around every 5 to 10 years just so you can grab them. Of course, therein lies the beauty of uncertainties but if I’m not prudent enough to grab it when it’s right in front of me, could the same be said when it does come around again?

On the other hand, I don’t belong to only me. There lies the second mind.